fade away
by sydneysages
Summary: When Claire goes away to MIT, Shane doesn't follow her. Instead he lets her make her own decisions. As that's what a proper couple does, isn't it? - rewrite of part of FoN to be less problematic. Claire/Shane


This is intended as a rewrite of the start of FoN, to get rid of the problematic aspect of Shane 'stalking' her to MIT.

The essential framework of the story is the same; it's only details and the timing of events etc that has changed.

Claire/Shane

* * *

The day dawned, the pre-dawn light growing stronger every minute as the sun began to rise over the horizon, and Claire didn't know whether she wanted it to come or not. By the time the sun rose, her dad'd be here to take her to the airport to start her new life at MIT—really, the life she'd always have had if her parents hadn't insisted she come to Morganville for two years.

She could still say no. When he arrived, she could always get him to drive her back to the Glass House and invite him for breakfast; they could have some father-daughter bonding before he went back to her mum. They'd be disappointed of course—they had always known their daughter was destined for greatness—but they'd understand. Of course it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to have fallen in love with a town after two years of living there (or that'd be the reason she'd give). Maybe, just maybe, she could stay. Myrnin would be able to teach her everything he knew, which was almost certainly more than this new professor could, and she would be able to get over her anger towards her friends much more quickly if she could talk it through with them again.

_No_, she thought to herself, dispelling all thoughts and dreams of staying in Morganville. _No, you're not going to be Amelie's lapdog or Myrnin's assistant for the rest of your days. You're going to get a degree from one of the country's best universities, and then you're going to return to Morganville and lay down the law for Myrnin and what you're willing to do. You need space from Michael and Eve and Shane to forgive them, and to prove to yourself that you're strong. You're not staying._

The sound of a car broke Claire's internal monologue, and she turned to see Myrnin getting out of his car. She was glad she hadn't seen him actually driving up; that'd be enough to scare her into never getting into a car again.

"You're truly leaving," was how he opened things—and in that moment, Claire could see that he hadn't really expected her to go. He thought he was enough for her mind; he didn't see that there were things he just couldn't teach her.

"Yep," Claire replied, her voice getting carried away by the early morning breeze. "I'll be back though, Myrnin."

He smiled as he advanced towards her, dressed demurely by his standards in a black suit. She hadn't known he owned something as elegant as that—at least not one which looked as though it was made in the 21st century.

Myrnin noticed her observing his outfit, and his expression shifted slightly to portray what Claire could only describe as melancholy. "Ah, yes…I…Amelie wanted to visit Sam." He didn't need to say anymore: Claire could figure it out for herself. "And of course I wanted to look smart for your departure!"

Surprising herself, Claire was the one to close the gap between them. She wrapped her arms around his relatively thin frame, tightened them as he cautiously reciprocated the gesture, and then released as they stepped apart.

"I'll be back for Christmas," she told him, trying to make him leave without explicitly telling him so. "You don't need to worry, Myrnin—truly. If anything, I need to worry about you."

This time, his smile was thin and barely there; he couldn't act when he was desolate, Claire had noticed that over the past two years. "There is no need, my dear. Amelie will ensure that I do not…do anything ridiculous. Well, if that's all you desire from me, I will take my leave. _Au revoir_, my sweet little bird."

He left in the blink of an eye, and by the time Claire had noticed she had tears in her eyes, the sun was well on its way to rising.

"Claire!"

A call behind her made her turn around to see her friends running down the road towards her, Michael well in front.

"You didn't think you were leaving without saying goodbye, did you?" Michael said as he wrapped his arms around her.

She could see that his face was turning red, and knew that he had to get back inside the car before the sun had fully risen.

"I know, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll ring you tonight, yeah? Please get inside. I don't want you to get hurt."

The look he gave her suggested he had wanted to say something further—yet another apology for what he did when under Naomi's control, probably—but he did as she bid and turned back to flash down the road before Shane and Eve had even reached her.

Eve didn't say anything as she grabbed Claire and hugged her tight, though Claire could feel the moisture leaking from her friend's eyes. "I'll be back before you know it," she said, repeating essentially what she had said to Myrnin just minutes before.

Somehow, Eve broke away from Claire and ran back to the car without a word beyond, "I'll miss you, CB," leaving Claire alone with Shane.

They didn't say anything to one another—there was still a wedge between them, and despite how much she wanted to overcome it, she couldn't quite yet. But that didn't mean she didn't feel tears dripping down her cheeks as he wrapped her in his arms, and that didn't mean she didn't hug him right until the moment her dad's car arrived.

Things were changing. _She_ was changing. And Claire was almost as scared as she was excited.

_~x~_

Although she ached to do it as soon as she entered the apartment she would now be sharing with Elizabeth, Claire resisted checking her emails or Skype until she was getting ready for bed that night. She didn't feel it was fair to leave her new roommate—and old best friend—in favour of those she had opted to leave behind.

Anyway, they had a _lot_ to catch up on.

Elizabeth looked different to how Claire remembered her, but she supposed that two years would do that—and she had to look completely different, too. Her friend still loved movies and they had a good discussion about the portrayal of Hermione in the last film, the only one they hadn't seen together, but there was something that was just…different. Claire hoped it was just because they hadn't seen each other in so long, and she was determined to try and get their friendship back to how it had been when they were fifteen. She wasn't sure if it'd work, but she could try, right?

They'd eaten dinner together and watched a couple of sitcoms on TV before Elizabeth had offered to help Claire unpack, help graciously accepted. The bulk of her stuff wasn't arriving until next week, but two suitcases fit more than Claire remembered packing. After unpacking, they reminisced about a few things and discussed Shane and Claire's life in Morganville (albeit without a few select facts) before Elizabeth left to go to bed with a, "I'll let you get to your boyfriend now!" quip.

Only when she was in bed did Claire turn on her laptop to discover emails from her parents—which she quickly answered—and a message from the Glass House Skype for her to message them ASAP when she could.

She relayed the details about her journey and meeting up with Elizabeth again, but didn't wait for a reply. Whilst she missed them greatly, Claire felt the need to try and embrace this new life with open arms—and she couldn't do that if she was hanging on for every single piece of communication with her friends. She had to give Cambridge a chance, and maybe if she did that she'd find that memories of the Glass House returned to being nothing more than love.

_~x~_

Days passed more quickly than Claire realised as she attended orientations, met Elizabeth's friends ("We have _got_ to do a Harry Potter marathon!" one of them said when Elizabeth introduced them) and got lost in the metropolis she wasn't used to. It was nothing like Morganville, and it was a struggle to stop checking over her shoulder every five minutes but gradually she was managing it. Claire had forgotten just what life in a normal city was like—a city where there was crime and druggies and leering men who shouted things down the street, yet a place where you didn't fear for your life after dark—and she had forgotten what it was like not to always have to tell people where she was.

Elizabeth, whilst always keen to do things with Claire, was willing to let her do her own thing. As long as Claire messaged her to tell her that she'd be out late so not to make her dinner, she didn't care where her friend was which was a nice change from Morganville. She loved her friends, truly she did, but the nature of the town meant that they always wanted her to be somewhere. At home, she didn't have the chance to just go to the park and sit on the benches, or take a stroll down some of the pretty residential areas. It wasn't possible—or it was, but it was dangerous.

It was during her daily walk that Claire discussed with herself the problem which was part of the reason she'd uprooted to MIT: the trust between her friends and herself. They trusted her, she knew that, just as she trusted them with her life. But somewhere down the line, they had decided to listen to the guy they had known almost their entire lives—Michael—rather than her, and they hadn't even given her argument a second glance.

If she was being honest with herself _that_ was what hurt the most: not that they thought she would cheat with Michael, but that they didn't even think that she was telling the truth.

But as she walked down the streets of Cambridge, Claire could feel her underlying anger starting to fade away. She knew she wouldn't get over it completely before she saw her friends again—things like this took years, she'd heard—but it was no longer the first thing she thought of when she remembered the past few weeks. Her brain now focused more on Oliver's betrayal and whether Amelie was alright—weird things to focus on, but she felt a strange…kinship with Amelie. The woman had been hurt beyond anything Claire doubted she would ever experience, yet she still managed to pick herself up and put the pieces back together almost as well as before. That took guts, and Claire admired her for it.

During these walks, she also phoned home to the Glass House. So that she wasn't constantly communicating with them, she had organised times to speak with them. If she was honest, Shane wasn't happy that he couldn't constantly talk to her but he took it in his stride; and if she was honest about herself, him accepting that made her love him just a little bit more. He was willing to do whatever she wanted. Whilst her calling the shots wasn't how she wanted their relationship to be forever, it was nice that he was willing to do it for her.

She rang them every day during her walk and every three days, they would Skype just before she went to bed.

"Hello?" Eve said as she picked up the phone, and Claire couldn't stop herself shaking her head. This was the sixth day she'd called, the seventh since she had left, but Eve still hadn't memorised Claire's new number.

"Hello, is this Mrs Glass?" Claire asked, putting on as northern an accent as she could manage; whilst she didn't have the strongest Texan drawl, it was still enough to make her and Elizabeth stand out in Cambridge.

"…Yes?"

"My name is Jenny Gibson and I am calling you from New York to offer you the opportunity to have a photo shoot here!"

"Really?"

Claire sighed. "_Seriously_ Eve? You didn't get it was me?"

There was a squeak at the end of the line, the sound of glassware breaking, and feet drumming on the floor. "Claire Bear! You've phoned!"

"It's one pm, of course I'm phoning! How are you today?"

"Not bad, not bad, Amelie's officially put me in charge of Common Grounds. Well, she's doing the ordering and taking the majority of the profits, but I own it Claire! It's so cool. Michael's over there at the minute sorting out the damaged stuff and working out what Amelie needs to order."

As she crossed the road, Claire laughed. It was something she'd do after all, getting the guy to do the boring stuff whilst she lounged around. "And Shane? Have you roped him into doing the boring bits of your new job?"

Eve snorted. "That's not likely, guy doesn't even want to consider serving up brisket tacos at the shop! I offered him a corner when we went down to measure up, but he told me he'd rather wait on Amelie hand and foot than work in Common Grounds."

"Now _that_ is a sight I'd like to see," Claire commented, snorting at the thought of Shane serving Amelie. Something similar had happened before, and imagining the look of indignation on his face pulled at her heartstrings. No matter what she thought, she was getting closer to being done with being angry. Maybe she'd even ask him to come visit next month.

She chatted to Eve a little bit about working with Irene Anderson—"She's cool but she's creepy—not Morganville creepy, just weird. I don't know why Myrnin ever wanted to work with her, to be honest. She just isn't who I'd expect would want to be anywhere near him."—and Eve told her more about the changes Amelie was making to Morganville, most of them in Sam's name. That interested Claire, but didn't really surprise her. Whilst she knew Amelie had tried to move on to an extent with Oliver, that she had gone directly back to the one person who had never hurt her was pretty much what she expected.

_Not_ that she would ever tell Amelie that, of course.

By the time Shane wrestled the phone from Eve, Claire's battery had almost died. "I love you, you know," she told him after a quick-fire round of discussing days and Shane asking whether Irene was as creepy as Myrnin (her answer was that it was complicated, which didn't surprise Shane).

Only when Shane told her he loved her back did Claire realise that that was the first time she'd said it since coming to Cambridge. She'd thought it to herself often enough and she always signed off emails and Skype messages with 'xoxo, lots of luv' but that wasn't the same as saying, I love you.

Claire bit her lip to stop herself saying _visit me_, and then the phone call was over: her phone was dead, and she had to get back to Elizabeth's for the dinner her friend was having with her professor. Why _Claire_ had to be there, she still didn't know, but she'd agreed to be there. Things were still a little strange between the two of them but they were both trying, and Claire wasn't going to let something like being late for dinner affect anything between them.

But as she walked up the steps towards their apartment, she couldn't help but miss the Glass House more than she had done all week.

_~x~_

That it took twelve days for things to get strange around Claire surprised her; she had been a magnet for trouble in Morganville, after all.

That three things happened in a single day _didn't_ surprise her.

First off, there were the strange governmental people coming to the lab when she had been working with Irene. She had essentially been kicked out of the lab and subtly asked to inform Jesse and Pete—lovely friends of Irene's, though _not_ the sort of people she expected her uptight professor to associate with—that things were amiss.

Then there was the creepy guy in the pizza shop just round the corner from the apartment. He had told her that he knew Elizabeth and was "hoping to get to know Claire _just_ as well." The thing that bothered her the most was that he knew her name. She didn't let that show though, and successfully threw an entire drink over his head and called him out on his creepy ways. The girl behind the counter had given her a free pizza and drink on the house for proving that girls didn't need guys to protect them.

The third thing was the creepiest, though, and left Claire seconds off calling Shane and asking him to drive across the country to come to her side. She wanted his backup because no matter how strong she was, against a couple of guys snooping around her flat who were armed with guns…things weren't going to end well for her if she took them on. She had been ready to strike when she thought there was just one of them, but the arrival of the second more tough looking one made Claire certain that it wouldn't be a good idea to jump out from the pantry with a rolling pin in hand.

She had called Jesse and Pete though because they seemed pretty reliable and as if they wouldn't let anyone give them trouble. Elizabeth was away for the night; she didn't need to know that someone had broken in to snoop through Claire's things. That meant the only two people she trusted—and trusted was a loose term considering she barely knew them—were Pete and Jesse, the two who gave her lifts every now and again up to Irene's second laboratory. It had more stringent security and had the added bonus of being three miles from where Claire lived; their taxiing was a bonus she hadn't expected.

"The doors are all locked, the windows are sealed, and I'll drive down this way a couple of times this evening when I'm on my way home," Pete confirmed ten minutes after arriving. Jesse had been unable to come due to work, something Claire understood well enough; she'd been tied to Myrnin's lab when she was supposed to be at work. "If you have any trouble at all, call me. I can be here in five minutes flat."

Claire thanked him, but as she locked the door behind him—all seven bolts; Elizabeth liked security, it seemed—all she could think was that she didn't want him looking after her. She could look after herself well enough, but Pete…he wasn't the guy she wanted protecting her back. He was a good guy, but when she had friends she'd trust to give her directions if she was blindfolded and walking between vats of acid and hungry vampires…she'd take them anyday.

For the first time, Claire felt homesick. She wanted to go home and hug Shane and sit on the sofa whilst Michael played the guitar and Eve burned pasta. She wanted to see the Glass House in all its shabby glory; hell she even wanted to see Amelie come over for tea to explain how the contents of Sam's will had only just been discovered. (Actually, scratch that last one: tea with Amelie would only end badly, as apparently it had with her three friends. One cup was thrown at the wall, bad words were exchanged about 'leading Sam on', and Eve had actually suggested Amelie go and get drunk to forget the entire conversation had happened. Though Claire _would_ have liked to hear how Amelie had apparently agreed that would be necessary.)

She had resisted calling Shane when people had broken into her new home. She hadn't felt the need to call him 24/7. She had proven to herself that she didn't need him or _anyone_; she could cope perfectly well on her own when there wasn't the supernatural against her.

But most of all, Claire had proven to herself that she was her own person and, really, that she hadn't ever lost herself. Sure, part of her had merged with Shane and perhaps she didn't really like that; she always wanted to be her own person, not defined by her relationships. But being here, Claire didn't feel as if she was any different to being at home. She had shown herself that being in a relationship hadn't weakened her own personality, hadn't weakened her self identity.

She had shown herself that she was still Claire Danvers, whether she was in the same state as Shane Collins or not.

And that was the reason she didn't feel guilty or even a little bit of regret as she lifted her phone out of her pocket and dialled Shane's new number.

He answered on the first ring but before he could get beyond hello, Claire had started talking.

"We still need to talk about what happened and this doesn't mean I completely forgive you because it was a pretty terrible thing you did. It'll still be cropping up in the future and I'll hate myself for still bringing it up when we argue, and I am serious, we need to discuss everything without you just saying 'please forgive me, I'll do anything'…but…but I want you to come and visit." She didn't pause for breath whilst she was speaking, but she did realise that she was crying—crying and laughing at the same time, the two emotions merging together so she couldn't tell whether she was laughing because she was sad or crying because she was ecstatic.

There was a stunned silence on the other end of the line and, for one wildly irrational second, Claire thought that Shane actually wanted her to say the complete opposite. She thought that he wanted to be free of her—it was her biggest fear of their entire relationship, that he'd turn around to her one day and say, 'this has been a blast, yeah, but I don't think it's long term. Sorry.'

Yet when he spoke, he dashed away all of those fears. "I, oh God, Claire, that's all I wanted to hear. I'm not saying that it'll be easy and that I expect you to forgive me immediately or even trust me fully…but that we can work on it, that you want me there…I can't put into words how happy it makes me."

Claire laughed again, louder and slightly hysterical. "Well, hurry up and get here, dork, so you can show me how happy you are," she told him, pressing her hand against her forehead.

He laughed too, though he sounded a little tense to Claire. "Yeah, er, about that…I was just about to tell you. Amelie's sending us on a mission pretty close to where you are—we'll be leaving in maybe an hour. We weren't going to tell you so that you didn't feel pressured into seeing us if you wanted your space, but if you…if you still don't mind seeing me…" he trailed off, waiting for Claire's reaction.

Surprised was all she felt in that split second—surprised but proud. Proud that her friends were taking her seriously when she said she wanted time to think and time to be herself—proud that they were coming near her and weren't going to try and pressure her into seeing them due to proximity. It made her even more convinced that the time apart had done them good, and whilst it was less time than she had expected, it was enough. As Shane had said, they still had a way to go before they were back at the pre-Naomi level of their relationship, but they could only do that together.

"No, it's fine, I believe you—but _why_ is Amelie sending you on a mission to Boston?" Claire's mind ran through everything that it could be, and she froze in horror. Had Jesse told Amelie about VLAD? "No offence, but after your tea party with her, I can hardly expect you three to be at the top of her most loved list."

"She has a most loved list?" Shane joked. "I bet the only living person on that is Myrnin. It's because she has no other choice, and because she knows that if we ran into difficulty we could count on you for support. Or she assumed that, we didn't actually tell her that because, you know, distance—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you weren't going to tell me, it's fine." Claire slid down onto the floor, her back leaning against the wooden door. "But seriously, _why_ is she sending you all up here?"

She heard Michael's voice in the background asking for the phone, something Shane obliged with. "Hey Claire, hear you're up to date with our travel plans. Er, well we're coming up to Boston because…Amelie and Myrnin had a falling out. He's disappeared out of the town and she thinks that he's heading over to where you are."

"_What_?" Claire exclaimed. "Why would he come over here?"

Michael sighed in the way only he could do when discussing Myrnin. "He got it into his head that Oliver was near Boston and that he would probably threaten you. Somehow, he accessed CCTV to confirm Oliver's in Boston and so set off in a flurry. This is after he told Amelie that she smelled, made bad decisions with men and should have joined the convent they came across a few hundred years ago. You can imagine that she's not happy."

Claire groaned. Of _course_ Oliver would have decided to come to the one place in the country she didn't want him—and of course Myrnin would have to follow him.

"Well, if there's any vamp showdown I want no part of it. Unless VLAD is up and ready by that time, in which case you can use it to get Myrnin into the car and back to Morganville to await Amelie's justice. Though I wouldn't want to be him if he told her she had bad choice in men…"

Michael laughed; the slightly painful edge to it might have been imagined by her, because whilst discussion of his now-dead grandfather affected him he seemed to be getting over it. "Yeah, I don't think we want to be around when _that_ conversation goes down. Anyway I'm looking forward to seeing you. Here's Shane back to say bye."

Whilst the phone was passed between the boys, Claire wiped her eyes and smiled; whilst shit seemed to be hitting the fan, at least it would mean that they were all reunited. And that they could all have a chaperone free meet up outside of Morganville.

"Claire?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right? And that I miss you?"

She smiled again, and wished she could hold him close right there and then. Until he got here though, this was as close as they'd get. "I know. I love you too. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Hell yeah—we'll drive as fast as I can get away with, and if Michael wants to try and stop to see if we can find Myrnin, he can find himself another vehicle."

"Hey!" Michael exclaimed from the background.

Claire laughed again, and wondered how she'd manage to fill the next two days. "Well, I'd best be getting going and let you finish packing," she said, struggling to force herself off the phone but managing it. If they didn't leave till later, it'd mean they got to Cambridge later. "Oh, and Shane? I can't wait to see you, and…we still have some things to sort out but…I forgive you. Mostly. Almost entirely. Now just hurry up and get here so I can kiss you."

_~x~_

By the time Claire went to bed, things had already changed. Elizabeth wasn't answering her phone, Jesse had called to say that there'd been a disturbance at the lab but it wasn't serious, and the Glass House gang were well on their way to reaching her.

She knew that if her mum had found out what had happened between her and Shane, she'd say it was far too early to have forgiven him. Maybe it was. Maybe not taking three months apart would come back to haunt them in the future, when their arguments were only about the fact that he hadn't trusted her twenty years ago and she was still bitter about it.

Maybe not, though. She didn't feel angry about it anymore, and whilst she knew it would still hang over them for a while—hang over _all_ of them, since Eve and Michael were as much to blame as Shane—she didn't feel it consuming her anymore. She didn't think about it all the time, and when she did, she felt more as if she'd come to peace about it.

That didn't mean that things were all going to be smooth sailing from now on; that they were having to deal with yet another Myrnin escapade suggested they weren't ever going to escape her insane boss. But Claire was confident that she'd made the right decision, and that staying here away from him wasn't going to make things better.

* * *

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